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  • 10 One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood. Lucius Annaeus Seneca
  • 9 The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. Edmund Burke
  • 8 Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. Buddha
  • 7 Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant. Robert Louis Stevenson
  • 6 Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'! Audrey Hepburn
  • 5 Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain. Joseph Campbell
  • 4 Try to be a rainbow in someone's cloud. Maya Angelou
  • 3 It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light. Aristotle
  • 2 Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. Oscar Wilde
  • 1 The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart. Helen Keller
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    Bob Dylan - Mr. Tambourine Man
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    First off, I believe divorce should be a drop-dead last resort. If you haven't done so yet you should look into couples’ therapy, purchase some videos on relationship building and communicate with your spouse about your issues. And give it some time to stew, sometimes people jump into a divorce while they are in a heat of the moment situation and if so, should take a step back and re-think things. If communications go awry and counseling doesn't work, maybe you could try a trial separation while continuing attempts of restoring your relationship. If that doesn't work, then it may be time to discuss a divorce with your partner. Simple communication goes a long way before, during and after a divorce. So be sure to keep those communication lines open. If you are past these points then continue reading.

    Here we will discuss that rare occurrence when the man is the one initiating the divorce or maybe it's a joint effort. And being as such you have time to plan things out ahead of time. There are a lot of things to watch out for and I hope to cover them all. If I'm missing something feel free to add it to this forum. You may not think you need to go through these steps but it's better to be prepared. Maybe things are still good between the two of you, but realize that it can, and usually does, go south. Remember the quote: “hope for the best, prepare for the worst”.
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    Remember the two rules from the last section.

    1. Do not move out of the family residence unless you are served papers.

    2. Make sure YOU file first.


    If you suspect your STBX (soon to be ex) is getting wise to you and may file, you need to beat her to it. If you don’t you can expect a restraining order to get you out of the family home and keep you from your kids. And a large temporary child support/alimony payment. Not to mention she will probably drain every nickel out of your bank accounts. Good luck finding a decent attorney when you’re living paycheck to paycheck.  If were still tuning in please continue.

    Now that you have all the documents you need, you need to come up with a good strategy on taking action. Plan on a day/time when she is at work or out shopping without the kids. Talk with the attorney you have chosen and explain to him that you are ready to file for divorce and a restraining order against your STBX. Before meeting with him make sure you have time to cash out everything. Close out your checking and savings accounts. Cash in on any retirement accounts you have. Liquidate everything you possibly can. Sell, sell, sell.


    Your life is going to drastically change anyhow and your finances will most likely be crap when all is said and done. Now go meet with your attorney and put down the retainer he is going to ask for. You can expect at around $10k or more for a retainer on a good attorney. And that retainer in a disputed divorce will go very quickly. Have lots of cash available to feed the attorney. If you have verifiable income of an adequate amount he probably can work out a payment plan with you once the retainer is gone. If this is your situation be sure to talk to your attorney first about the finances, you don't want a lawyer bailing out on you mid term. I've personally never seen or had an attorney bail out on me but it could happen. Just make sure you have a strategy plan with him up front.
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